spring fever in holland 2010

two things: 1) i want to go on a date. now that the sun is peeking out more, i have been spending a handful of afternoons on my friend's porch (from his flat) that overlooks one of the busier streets of tilburg's center. i felt like a teenager again in heat in the good US of A - with our big diva sunglasses, beers in hand, leaning over the railing to tell someone: "that coat looks GOOD on you!"

i kiss everyone but this season, i want: a "queer"-identified person and/or one of the very stereotypical "dutch" boys that seem to also find me interesting - exceedingly tall and skinny.

my partner and i already discussed the fact that i am feverish, my desires to go on a date, spend time with other people and he's supportive of everything that i would choose to do. but i still feel this strange devotion to him ... spending all of my time with him ... i need to be torn violently away and be forced to spend some time away from him and our gezellig apartment.

2) i just discovered that there was a HLBT organization on the same street as our apartment! it seems extremely "liberal" (i am using the american definition here) - in that they have sponsors and do things that i see as political lobbying or whatever ... but i'm not going to let that phase me!

learning dutch is fascinating. a german told me that dutch sounds primitive. an english expat calls dutch a farmers' language. i see where they're coming from. dutch has significantly less vocabulary words than the english language does and they borrow words from the english and french as they see fit. the communication comes through expressions, word orders, fillers, etc. and i'm having a hell of a time expressing myself through it.

i am curious to see how sexual identity is negotiated through dutch. at this organization, they only refer to gays, lesbians, bis and trans. with this kind of vocabulary in the states (and yes, it is used like that also in the states), i am already alienated because i don't fit into any of those. i can't tack on "male-socialized" and "male-identified" onto my dutch as easily as i can with english because i can pretty much express anything in english if i know enough vocabulary words ...